Fandom and Fans : Wake up! This is Reality

I have my fandom and I love it. But I learned so many things in it, and I’m gonna share you a bit about it.

Keep real friendship, earn respect, value trust and don’t believe in everything you see or hear.

In JE fandom~

1.     Respect every video and music uploaders~ Give credits, say thank you messages, no bad-mouthing, and follow their rules.

2.    In forums, clubs, groups etc~ Fandom maybe sharing but learn to follow rules. Keep your mouth shut when a particular cluster said so.

3.    To the fans~ learn to limit yourself.

Yheah, I myself have leaked something precious to a person I thought I could trust also but I ended up being betrayed and hurting the primary people involved. That person told to other people the information. I learned my lessons and I’m writing this to tell you something you probably don’t know.

What do I mean by “LIMIT YOURSELF”? To the fans~

There are some things that you can publicly share/reveal just because you personally found out about it. There are private things fans shouldn’t get themselves into. Sometimes, because we think that this is FANDOM, it’s okay to tell everyone what we think can be publicized when in reality, it should have been private. It’s horrible knowing that sometimes we become this type of fans. Trash fans as some may call it. We were so obsessed of being in fandom that we tend to be like someone popular in this world too by being like paparazzi who try to reveal everything about our favorite artists, not minding whether it is private or public.

Fans always blame Johnny-san, the Staffs, paparazzi’s, Hey Say Shoujo, Magazines, Interviewers, or other people… when something bad happens or news, etc. But have you ever tried blaming yourselves? I did. How about you? Yes? No? No. Reason, because you are fans. And you always thought you are one heck good of a fan. Well, I’m gonna tell you the reality. The real thing is sometimes, it is the fans’ fault why Johnny-san would at times disband a JE group or kick out an individual artist.

Minna, please stop posting, blogging or writing about JE stuffs unless it is officially announced to the public by JE itself. You know why? Because sometimes, it’s what we posts that creates chaos and rumors around the fandom world. One day, NYC, Arashi, NEWS, or much more is Hey Say JUMP might end up getting disbanded or lose members because of the privacy leakage fans posts online etc. about what they know or find out about the JE Artists.

            It may be your right to have freedom to do whatever you like to post but there are times that it is not just right. Sometimes we say that we just wanted to reveal the truth and only the truth and share it to our fellow readers or fans. (What? Are we reporters now? From Paparazzi to reporters and what’s next? Private investigators? Tsk tsk.)

Guys, you don’t want the truth. You want a story. Because of the fan’s sometimes bad obsession, you turn your idols’ lives into your own little reality show. You build them up into a big celebrity just so you can tear them down in public. Fans’ take away the freedom, privacy, honesty to their idols. So

When one said no re-uploading, re-posting or keep things that you read/hear as a secret because of confidentiality~ ONEGAI~ please do obey it. If more JE groups would get disbanded because fans get out of hand, congratulations, you’ve created a celebrity topic. But don’t blame other people, instead try to blame your little witty attitude as a fan.

That’s all I wanna say.

 

PS: Please spread with the full content or link this if you want to share my article. Give credits too MOPY.

Credits to Disney, JE, and MOPY (LoLz)...

Fans-Stars Obsession: Kick Ass

One of my past times is surfing the net. Watching movies online and other people’s videos, and reading blogs of my friends, to not my friends, to totally unknown people. Sometimes, I would even end up in a celebrity’s blog site. It’s not that I know everything about everybody. It’s just that I found interesting things everywhere and putting it all together, I always come up with ideas.

Just recently, I was hooked up on following Japanese blogs. Some of them are celebrities. I read in some blogs, people are quarreling. Some blogs are being hacked. The most ridiculous thing I found out was posers are everywhere. Celebrities and ordinary people are being followed, have fans clubs, and unknowingly, there are people who pretends to be them. Ridiculously annoying, isn’t it?

I don’t really get it. Okay, people get famous because there is something about them that is cool. The people who like them are called ‘fans’. They are the followers. But there are different types of fans, good, stupid and the bad fans. But there are also different types of famous people, good, bad, and in between.

Fans are good when they are in front of the idols. The bad side of them comes out when they are not in front of the well-known. They try to follow celebrities everywhere and treat them like some kind of Gods when the fact is that they are just mere mortals whose talent was discovered. Usually fans go gaga over their idols which are very insane.

I just have a question and I hope to get an answer in the near future.

If they wanted privacy, why would they put their pictures publicly in their accounts? They could use their pet’s pictures. Duhh.

They would keep on posting blogs which contains their writings saying “Please fans, this is the real ______, stop fighting or bad-mouthing me. I’m not a fake. I have this and that and… You can ask him and her and… blah blah blah.” Hey peeps, this is the online world where people could connect from all the sides of the world. I can’t blame anyone for this. But I can judge anybody for ruining ones personality because of his/her/their unruly obsession over someone. Trying to copy and pretend to be someone else is as dirty as trying to eat your own feces, do you know that?

If they want to, they could just create fan pages. Or do what Justin Bieber is doing. Haha.

Obsession has two types. The Good one is when fans support them by following their official blogs and saying Good Lucks, have their music in your player, you have posters or pictures of them and your know things about them. I mean things that were officially said from them of course. Not some make up stories and ideas. You support them 100% and you don’t fight with other fans. And you’re happy when they are happy.

The bad obsession is when you become stupid. You scream outrageously because of your fancy mania with the celebrity with no valid reason at all. You throw things at them when they’re on stage. You stalk them everywhere. You try to hack their personal accounts online. You sleep outside their houses. You spread rumors that are not true. And you pretend to be them in some social sites. Isn’t that so ridiculous?

The next thing we knew, fans are already fighting at each other. The bad thing is, when the one you’re actually having fight with is the true one. You just won’t believe him/her/them.

For the side of the famous: Okay, so they knew about things like this. And all they would do is to plead that fans shouldn’t do such things or say that this certain site is theirs, etc etc. (I’m talking about the bad obsession part.) So I saw several blogs that proves it. When they’re spammed with hate comments already saying that the owner of the blog is just a bogus… They would send some sort of plead replies telling the sender that it is in actual fact them. They next thing you’ll see is the owner, telling his/her/their followers that they will transfer to another blog or social site already because they can’t take what the bad fans were doing. This also applies to normal people who have posers.

Is that all you can do? Going to another site because it’s killing you knowing that you have posers or some people are being bad to you because they wouldn’t believe any word you say? If you can’t take what the bad people are doing, what more if it’s already personal? If you can’t take it while you’re still in the early years of stardom of life, what more in the future? Hah! You’ll never survive in this world if you don’t know how to fight for your rights. You’ll never be someone worth of a personality star if you would just kept on running away from ghost who’s not even an inch worthy to be your impersonator.

Being someone unique to the eyes of the people has consequences you have to face. And as the owner of that soul, body and mind, you must know that it is your rights to fight for your own personality from someone who’s trying to steal it. And if you’re brilliant enough, you know they can’t do anything but talk bad about you. As long as you know who and what you are, you don’t have to plead for their mouths to shut up from pissing you.

This is so KICK ASS!

What hurts...

Sometimes, when people decide to leave you, you have to let them no matter how much you don't want them to. There are some things that are far beyond our control. Even if you have the strength to fight for them, you have to accept the cold harsh truth - the people that you CAN'T live without, CAN live without you.

I'm proud to be a Filipino!

Our race lineage is so precious that it can't be erased even if you already belong to another citizenship. Our nationality will always be our race because it's what makes us unique from the others. Not knowing or not being proud of your race is like being ignorant to yourself of who you really are. Whatever citizenship you belong to, you must always remember and be proud of from what race you belong.

I'm proud to be a Filipino! And as a youth, as my country's hope for a change, I will do my best to do good things, with the help of God. and build up a strong friendship relation with my fellow youths from other countries.

Minna, GANBARE!

Philippine Election -What's in it for me?

I'm just wondering... since it's election time again, many are 'nagkukumahog' to run this time. And seeing what happened to the Philippines for the past few years, I wonder what could these bunch of runners can do for the country if ever they win the votes of many. Seeing the Philippines right now, it seems like there were really no good things that happened to make it a better living place. So many shortages, wars, inflation and unattended pending help from those who were struck by the calamities we have encountered.

Just recently, in my Economics class, we had reporting by groups. My group tackled about the Finance thingy of the Philippines and the next group discussed about the Trading thingy. The Galleon era and the era now. We have learned that the current 'utang' (debt) of the Philippines in the World Bank is about Php 300 billion now or something close to that. (not really sure)

The Philippines was born to be one of the most blessed country in the World. So gifted.
But how come we belong to the 3rd world countries?
How come we can't even pay our debts?
How come Filipinos were born very gifted but people chose to be so dumb instead?
We're an agricultural country but how come we can't even supply our own with the basics needs?
How come we have so many laws but we're so poor in following it?
How come we have so many buildings and techs like 'nakikipagsabayan tayo kahit papaano' but then, so many children can't go to school?
How come they were fixing the roads and the industrial buildings but can't fix the needies?
How come there are people who dies of being hit by cars just under the overpass?
How come there are so many talented Filipinos but they kept on focusing the fame to those who brings so much money for themselves and not for the country?
How come most of the successful businessmen are foreign and not from our own race? and we tend to make 'samba' and use these foreign items when ours are more beautiful naman?
How come 'ung sariling atin, mas mahal'?
How come we have so many 'libreng school para sa mahirap "daw"', and yet so many Filipinos can't attend to these schools?
How come there are so many 'how come's? Can't we make a difference?

How can these candidates of 2010 Elections serve the Philippines? Can they make a difference? Is that difference going to be good or bad?

Pinapalaki nila ung mga daan kasi daw para di na masyadong trapik. Totoo ba? nabawasan ba ung trapik? hindi naman. Madami kasing makukuha dun. Wala un sa daan. Nasa gumagamit un.
Bakit sa Japan at States, maliliit ung mga public highways nila pero maayos naman? Diretso pa mostly ung mga daan, hindi paliko likong parang spaghetti. Wala magulong trapik. Kasi maayos ung laws nila. Hinuhuli ung dapat hulihin. Inaayos ung dapat ayusin. Walang kotong. Walang gitgitan. Nasa iisang lane kaya hindi buhol buhol.
Ung bicycle lane nila, para lang talaga sa bicycles at skaters. Sa ibang bansa nga, may Horse lanes pa. Bakit satin hindi pwedeng ganun??? Kasi pati ung bicycle lanes ginagawang car lanes or paradahan. Anong silbi nun?

Gusto kong makasakay ng malayo sa kabayo pag may lakad akong hindi ganun kaimportante. Gusto kong maranasan mag-skates or mag-bike when going somewhere without thinking that I might not be safe cause I might get hit by a car or something.

Gusto kong makakita ng kandidatong nakikipagkamay sa taong grasa. Gaano ba sila maka-tao? Gaano sila mapagkunwari? Gaano nila makakayang humalik sa lupa?

It's not about kung sinong galing sa mahirap... it's not about kung sinong they thought is para sa mahirap... It's about kung sinong tatayong magpapakahirap.

It's not about kung sinong mag-aahon satin sa kahirapan... It's not about kung sinong magbibigay satin ng tulong para yumaman... It's about kung sinong maglalakas loob to make the lives of each and every Filipinos pantay pantay. Walang mahirap, walang mayaman. Nagtutulungan, nagmamahalan, nagbibigayan.

Gusto kong makakita ng kandidatong namamalengke sa wet market para magpakain ng mga malnourish, hindi nangangampanya sa dry market with his/her bodyguards with matching banda's.

Gusto kong makakita ng tunay na pagbabago. Gaya ng pangarap ng mga taong tunay na nakakakita sa reyalidad na nangyayari sa bansa.

Japan Japan Japan!!!

I applied in a program of NYC... An exchange student program... Destination: Japan...

Sugoi...

It was a rush application demo, I still wish I'd be accepted... It's a reaL hope... They will call me by January to inform me if ever I will be accepted...

I really like to go to Japan... Not only for some leisurely trip but to also experience how to live there. I'm really amazed on how Japanese keeps their country like a sakura tree.. Always blooming.. and I'm hoping that Philippines will be like that too..

I wanna be someone who could change my country from being a third world trash into a better living place... So i hope I will be accepted...

Pilipino Ka Ba?

Kahit anu ka pa...

Diyos ng Kaguwapuhan...

Diyosa ng Kagandahan...

Mayaman...

Mahirap...

Ang tunay na Pilipino,

anumang estado,

marunong pa ring humalik sa lupa!

I hate this dream...

I had another dream...
This one may not be the same nightmare i usually used to have with all the ghost and the creepy things but still, for me, It's still a nightmare...

Coz the story is about my Aji-niisan leaving me without even saying goodbye...
We were in some house. Staying there for a vacation. Here in the Philippines of course. After some time of hanging out together, the sad day arrived... and it's like, he could have stayed longer here but he chose to go back. He ignored my plead to stay muna kahit for a week more lang. And totally ignored me for that whole day. We didn't talk. I didn't eat. We acted like total strangers to each other for the first time after all the days we have spent together. Then when they were about to go, I was in my room, he was on the drive way and we just looked at each other. Both with sad eyes. And I cried. Then they were gone. I thought he really didn't care. But when I cleaned the room he used at home, I saw a letter with his name and my name on it. He wrote a letter for me apologizing for not staying. But, that's just it... So sad... Parang ngaun lang... Walang communication... =(

I am not plastic!

Akala mo lng hindi ako nakikinig... pero not looking at you when you're talking doesn't mean that Mopy-chan is not listening at all... if you do not know how I handle things, then please, don't judge me just according to someone else's point of view, my actions and my physical appearance... at hindi porket iba ang personality ko sa ibang grupo at iba din sa iyo, ibig sabihin na nuon ay plastic akong tao... I may act like a total bitch there, kid here, nerd to others, shy to some and i-don't-care-sa -paligid ko when i am with you.. pero hindi ibig sabihin non wala talaga akong pakialam sau...=(

Cheating

'...that rather than looking to change how students behave, educators should instead look into themselves and find out if they are the ones contributing to the problem.
“...cheating can be curbed, because I honestly think that students cheat if they feel that it’s impossible. And impossibility is a result of demanding too much output when you haven’t even put much in to begin with. If you’re a good educator, students won’t feel the need to cheat.”' (Trick or cheat By RONALD S. LIM: November 12, 2009)

I agree with her.. If only teachers could make the subject fun even if the lesson itself is boring... and if they can teach us in a not stiff way and brightly... then students wouldn't even dare cheating.

I can't believe it...

For so many years that he's been my friend and my past crush, i've already met too many people and guys that eventually became my crush too.. but how come he's the only who could make me blush by sudden compliments?
yes, there are people that give compliments on how I look, how i dress, how i bring myself up, and how i interact with people... i only smile.. but with him, i really blush! jeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeez.... my present crush/es, they give me compliments but they really can't even make my face red.... ughhhhhhh!!! Buzama!!!

Hey Say JUMP! Rocks!!!

Right now, I got pretty addicted to a Jpop group.. The Hey Say JUMP...



For the story...
The Hey Say 7 temporary group was first formed.


Composed of Yuya Takaki, Daiki Arioka, Ryosuke Yamada, Yuto Nakajima, and Yuri Chinen.

Their songs are...
* Fatalism
* The ONE
* Hey Say
* Bon Bon
* I Wo Kure

But then, since it was just temporary, here's the real score now.

The Hey Say BEST...


They are Hikaru Yaotome, Yuya Takaki, Kota Yabu, Kei Inoo, and Daiki Arioka.
With the songs, here...
* ス・リ・ル (Thrill)
* STYLE
* (Spicy)
* FLY
* Bump Up
* Switch<
* School Days

...and this is Hey Say 7, the real ones...

Keito Okamoto, Yuri Chinen, Yuto Nakajima, Ryosuke Yamada and Ryutaro Marimoto.

Together with their cute songs... * ワンダーランド・トレイン (Wonderland Train)
* S.O.S
* Brave Story
* Iinjanai
* Salsa Iina Iine
* GET
* Kawaii Kimi no Koto da Mono
* Brain Dance


Kawaii ne... They are from Johnny's Entertainment of Japan...
Hey Say JUMP is a combination of two sub groups, the Hey Say BEST and the Hey Say 7... According to them, they were named Hey Say because they were all born in the Heisei period. That's the current era in Japan as of now.


and their songs as a whole... here...
* Ultra Music Power
* Dreams Come True
* Your Seed
* Mayonaka no Shadow Boy
* Glorious
* Deep night Kimi Omou
* School Kakumei (lyrics by Yabu Kota)
* Star Time
* Too Shy
* Bouken Rider
* Chance to Change
* トビラの向こう (Tobira No Mukou)
* 心・技・体 (Shin Gi Tai)
* My HEAVEN
* 大胆夢敵 (Daitan Muteki)
* 太陽にLOVE MOTION! (Taiyou ni LOVE MOTION!)
* BUMP UP
* HIGHER
* Memories
* 情熱JUMP (Jounetsu JUMP)
* Endless Dream
* Born in The EARTH
* Our Future
* To The Top
* Romeo & Juliet
* Hitomi no Screen


* Wish by Chinen Yuri
* Ookiku nare~ boku by Chinen Yuri
* On The Wind by Chinen Yuri
* Stars In Heaven (With Chinen Yuri and Ryosuke Yamada)
* Ｙｏｕ(裕)＆Ｙｏｕ(侑) (With Chinen and Yuto Nakajima)

* Perfume by Ryosuke Yamada
* Moonlight by Ryosuke Yamada
* Asia No Yoru by Ryosuke Yamada
* Uruwashi No Bad Girl by Yuto Nakajima
* Gentles by Hikaru Yaotome
* Akogare no Egoist by Hikaru Yaotome
* Thousand Light by Hikaru Yaotome
* Honoo - Flame of Love by Hikaru Yaotome
* Egoist by Hikaru Yaotome

* Boku wa tada... by Kota Yabu
* Hoshi no furu toki by Kota Yabu
* Hoshikuzu no beru by Kota Yabu
* Mayonaka no ANSWER by Kota Yabu
* Angel Come To Me by Kota Yabu
* Jewel Star by Kota Yabu
* Asu e (Lyrics written by Yabu) by Kota Yabu
* Arashi no carnival by Kota Yabu

* Rain Dance by Kota Yabu
* My Everything by Kota Yabu
* Ikujinashi〜DREAM BOYS Ver.〜 by Kota Yabu
* Chikai no sora (Lyrics written by Yabu) by Kota Yabu
* Tears and Smile (duet with (Yaotome)Hikaru - song written by Yabu, composition by Hikaru) by Kota Yabu

* Mirai by Kota Yabu
* Break the Ice by Kota Yabu


* Oretachi no Seishun by Takaki Yuya
* Kumi No Ito by Takaki Yuya
* Kumo no Ito(spider's thread) by Takaki Yuya
* Jitabata Junchuo by Takaki Yuya

* Arashi Medley by Hey Say 7
* Utauta-u by Hey Say 7
* Sorafune


hmmmm.. That's pretty much it...
hope i'd meet them in the future... weeeeeeeh







shing shing!!

Teacher's, ARIGATO!!!

Usually, we would say that teachers suck, not good, and annoying. Usually, we would think that teachers only think of themselves, that they don’t care about their students, and they just teach us craps. Wholeheartedly, just this week, I realized that not everything we think about others is right.
Who and what really are these TEACHERS anyway? According to the dictionary, is it someone who shares, teach, or impart knowledge or skill to somebody else. Therefore, teachers are not only those who have taken up the course Education. All of us can be a teacher. No age limits, no strict education standards, no restrictions, as long as you know what to teach, you can be a teacher.
There may really be some scrap teacher, but not all of them. Also, there are options and exemptions on how we classify people. You see, each of us has different point of views, standards and personalities. Other may think that Mr. Einstein is an insane one, but others would think otherwise. He’s a genius. Honestly, my dear people, whether a teacher is good or not depends on you, on us. Students can’t choose their teachers, though they can choose their schools.
Imagine if someone is teaching us something and we don’t get it, we would say the teacher is not good. But other did get it, so, we would say, “Matalino kasi sila.” Then we would start looking for another teacher. A teacher who could teach us great things and we would think that this teacher is better or rather, perfect. I realize how pathetic those people who has this way of thinking. Guilty as charged. Perfection is just a matter of individuality, or a matter of changing how you view things. Whether the learning thing is boring or fun doesn’t always depend on teachers. It also depends on the students. Cause true knowledge will only be acquired by those who really want to learn.
Different kinds of teachers we meet everyday. Teacher Policeman teaches us that jaywalking is bad. Teacher Nurse and Teacher Doctor teach us how to take care of our health. Teacher Mother and Father guide us in our lives. Teacher Fireman teaches us never to play fire. And of course, let’s include Teacher Classmates and Teacher Friends whom we could always ask for help when we have something that we can’t understand in class or somewhere else. We like some, we hate some. Still no matter what kind of teacher you meet in the future, don’t forget what you’ve always learned. They’re the one who taught us how to have pride and confidence, to be humble, disciplined and independent, and they’re the one who had taught us how to stand up when we fall and shakes us up when we’re on our lame selves.
So, with all these things that our teacher had done, have we ever thank them for it? Have we ever tried appreciating them? Have we ever tried apologizing to all the heartaches and the pains we’ve given to them? Have we ever thought that, simple gesture of smile and giving gratitude to them could make them feel like the luckiest teachers in the world? Oh yes, that’s true. Even the grouchiest person in the world could turn into a cool, happy and wonderful person if you know someone appreciates your existence. Most people say I’m just a kid. By the looks, yes, but now that I already realized how pathetic I have been, that only means I am not a kid anymore. I’m now standing at the entrance of adulthood. Guys, now is the time that we wake up from being stubborn, out of control staminas. Now is the time that we learn to say thank you to our teachers.

(I first delivered this as my speech in my english 3 class. I ended it with this.

For the ending, I’d like to take this opportunity to give gratitude to those who became my teachers in my earlier college years. To the villa girls who kept on checking my attendance during PE. Thanks. To my current group, The Gamers, consists of Paps, Brotherhood (Willmar), Momo-chan (Raiza), Mamu Joyce, Nefirtiri (Jarie), Ilatriva (Katrina), Kuya Beybi Davie and Master (Rom). Thanks for the friendship. Kuya Gab, thanks for coaching me at Computer Organization class. To everyone, thanks for being my classmates. And of course, Miss Tibayan, Arigatou-Gozaimashita!

My teacher really liked it. I was so overwhelmed with joy knowing that I have touched the hearts of my audience. Maybe not all my classmates but at least, my teacher did.)

I am grateful to know that i have this gift to do such great touching pen works. This pen work is for all the teachers in the world.

So to all the teachers i have met and I will meet in the future, ARIGATOU-GOZAIMASHITA!!!

Someone...

It's not always that you will meet someone who will value your existence more than the way you expected and the way you value him/her. And it's not also everyday that you will have that person to talk to and see. So whatever the circumstances are, you always have to look forward to seeing and talking to that person, and never let go of that special feelings you have, for you will never know... That might be the last time that you will have the chance to have all his/her time and attention just for you. And there will be no more next time.

Childhood...

I was on my way to Cubao to buy something at the mall when we passed by the school where I attended my grade 2 and 3.. I remembered the childhood times of my life.. My crushes.. my friends.. my mischievous deeds.. my experiences.. the lessons i learned..

I remember having my 3rd crush at ERSES.. hihi...
I remember joining a gang...the girls gang...
I remember fighting with my gang versus the boys...
I remember losing my bag because i was in a battle...
I remember watching my classmates playing Spirit of the Coin...
I remember being the keeper of the ghostly coin...
I remember feeling hurt because my 2nd best friend of mine left me...
I remember feeling so embarrassed because of an unfortunate event...(my fortunate event ba?=>)
I remember being so masunurin and malinis...
I remember getting lessons from my crush... ahem ahem...

I wish i could visit that schooL some time...
stories about it, on my next posts... ciao!

One heck of a HeLL...

I stared at the man beside me. He was looking at me.. he's smiling.. a friendly smile..

Then another scenery popped out.. a girl trying to escape from that bloody room she was chained at. Beside her was a door.. and another girl at her feet.. the first girl was chained hanging flat to the wall. the latter girl was just 2 feet away from her.. laying in the grounds filled with blood.. a hooded man was raping her.. the 2 girls were trying to escape from that terror happening to them but they can't.. too weak.. too down.. no one from the outside world seems to know there were some murdering that happened and is happening in that place. the chained girl started banging the wall with her body while shouting for help..

The scenery was changed.. i was at home with my family.. we were at the garage cooking and grilling food for dinner. A perfect family.. so happy.. smiling faces surrounding me.. we were joking at each other.. the kids running around freely.. then we decided to sleep coz it's late already.. I don't know why but we slept there beside the gate.

changed... the smiling man scene.. i can't remember how but i found out that he was the hooded rapist-killer i saw at the bloody room.. then he began chasing me.. like the chasing game that happened in the movie Leprechaun.. the bloody room with the chained girl popped out again.. bloods on her and a shadow of a woman getting killed with a knife.. the scene popped out about 2 times more.. different women being killed..

then i saw myself in the scene.. my face looked so dull like i was some sort of a vampire.. like i don't have blood.. so white.. so scared.. i was trying to open the gate coz Aji-niisan run out for something and i was trying to call him back..i had opened the gate successfully.. i was kneeling on the ground and my head was out looking for my Aji-niisan.. then i heard someone laughing devilishly.. I looked up.. there i saw him..

the killer man... he tried to kill my family so he could kill me... i have realized that, if he gets me, i will be the next victim in that bloody room.. this can't be my end.!

i fought back.. My Aji-niisan was there trying to figure out what to do but he seems to lose his mind for the sudden happening.. My family was deep asleep.. they're not dead. I have defended them. they were still sleeping soundly not knowing and can't feel that I was in danger.. I run away.. i tried.. but he caught my hair and pulled me back.. I tried hitting him with my fighting skills.. he got frustrated.. he decided to just kill me so his mission of keeping me silent will be finished.. and that was it.. I felt the tip of the cold steel touch my skin.. I felt the red liquor flow down in my belly's skin.. I felt the pain and me catching my breath..

he stabbed be with a kitchen knife...

I saw him, my dearest brother, Azul (Aji-niisan), running away like nothing happened. Like he checked us if we were sleeping soundly and he saw that we're ok and run away again for something..

I opened my eyes feeling so ughmmm, devastated..? No.. frightened is the correct word.. I was catching my breath and tears were falling down my cheeks..I was facing left.. I rolled to the right... That was when i realized..

It felt like it was true but...

It was all just one of those nightmares...

But I know.. like the others.. this would hunt me for a month or so before i could get over it..

I don't know what to do.. I don't have anyone to listen to me.. I don't have someone who could comfort me when I'm scared.. It seems like they all think i can take care of myself.. but i am scared.. and can't tell it to anyone.. i can't be a sissy.. therefore, I have to deal with it...=(

A qoute...

“I’m not normal. I tried to pretend that I was and I just hurt everyone; my mom, my dad. I ruined everything because of what I am. I hated it. But you – when I met you I finally felt like I was part of something.”

-Claire Bennet